I met up with my friend Willow the other night. Willow – the amazing, inspiring, determined, positive, cancer-fighting Willow – was having a bad few weeks. She’s receiving chemo every three weeks for a year and has found the treatments harder to bear and longer to recover from. Its strange because every time I get together with Willow, I’m torn between feeling sorry that she has to go through all this, to feeling very proud of her. You see, I’ve seen a profound change in Willow over the last three years she’s been battling The Big C. She’s gone from a kind but meek girl, who never said “No” and would always do everything for everybody to someone who is confident and strong, who has eliminated toxic friends from her life, who chooses to spend her valuable time only with valued friends. It has improved her relationship with her parents and brother and has taught them all how to express more love for one another. It has made her physically stronger in some ways and has led her to a healthier lifestyle. Cancer has impacted not only her outlook on life but also the quality of her life… and I think to myself, how can I feel sorry for her when the big C has brought her so many gifts as well.I know it’s a stretch, to think that way, but its how I look at my whole life. I’ve said to Willow that you can’t accept the blessings in life yet be angry and hurt by the misfortunes. One does not exist without the other… it is only when we experience the saddest moments that we realize how truly lucky, blessed, fortunate we are. Happiness exists because sadness exists. The key is recognizing and appreciating this – your happiness – right now, without waiting for tragedy to make you aware of it.
Maybe it’s the mommy-to-be in me talking, or it’s the fact that we’re heading into a global recession, but I am more conscious about appreciating what I have. I know that our house, this house that we’ve slaved over, could need to be sold if HandyMan and I lost our jobs and couldn’t make similar incomes. I also know that the car I’m driving, the clothes I buy... all of that is temporary and my ability to have and enjoy those things in future could disappear. Anything is possible and nothing is permanent. We’ve all heard the same old adages…”life is not a dress rehearsal”…”stop and smell the roses”…”live in the moment” – but how many of us actually listen?
I don’t want to sound preachy. I recognize that many people have issues, obstacles, real and immediate needs that prevent them from seeing ‘the silver lining’. But the reality is, you can change your whole perspective if you just, well, change it. Choose to change it. Choose to stop and look around you. Choose to look at your life as a whole instead of being bogged down by one issue or problem which in the grand scheme of things isn’t really significant at all.
We will all live. We will all die. We will all fill our homes with love, and move out of those homes someday. We will raise children and watch them move away. We will work, and make some money, and some days not. But how many of us will stop and say “What I have right now, I appreciate 100%. In this moment, life is perfect”. Every time I think of Willow, that thought runs through my head. And it makes me see the world in a different light… I see friends complain about how unhappy they are in their relationships or in their jobs and all I want to do is scream is “Then change it. It is in your power”. Realize that every moment you spend in a not-so-ideal situation denies you of that perfect life that is within your grasp. That is the gift we have all been given – we have the skills and knowledge and power to change our lives and make them better - now. I hope that if you aren’t living your perfect life right now, that you realize it is at least possible. Take today and wring the life out of it!
Image from wallowamountainproperties.com