To Fringe or Not to Fringe

Let's talk about fringe. Am I a fan? Not really. Plus, I'm self-aware enough to understand that if I were nervous, I'd be inclined to pull on the fringe and break it off. I don't wear boots with spurs and I don't wear cowboy hats (neither of which are even acceptable north of the Mason-Dixon line), so why oh why would I fall for fringe, however reluctantly?

Rule one: In order to reel in the nutso factor of fringe a bit, the fringe should be the exact same color as the piece. And I mean perfectly camouflaged. I cannot stress this enough. Compare these two little Free People chickabidees:

The fact notwithstanding that the model on the right looks like she's just finished up 150 years of chainsmoking, the black top works. Disregarding my natural bias considering I'm currently wearing said top, the fringe isn't garish or obvious upon first glance. They accent the neckline of the top instead of stealing the show entirely, and convey a vibe that's more "a top with fringe" than "BEWARE of fringe thicket." Now, a perfect example of the latter would be the maroon shirt on the left - same cut and material, but the fringe is a noticeably different shade than the base. The viewer's eye immediately zeroes in on the fringe, in the way that you can't help noticing a snaggletooth or a blue giant mole. Hence, exhibit a, why the fringe must match exactly; for fringe to work, it can only be an accessory, a back-up dancer to your Britney of an outfit.

Rule two: the fringe stands alone. This means no rhinestones, no studs, no garish shades, no daring patterns, and no odd textures throw in. Why?

That's why.

Rule three: the fringe cannot be as long as your hair. After a certain point, it crosses into Cousin It territory and leaves stylish far, far behind. Fringe shouldn't be the focal point of any outfit, even as a purse. Case in point:

It becomes a whole new creature. Where have you tethered your horse, Eva-Pigford-of-America's-Next-Top-Model-my-favorite-show-ever? It lacks tastefulness and refinement and ends up looking rather cheap. Perhaps this is a matter of preference, but shorter fringe tends to look more demure and delicate (as delicate as fringe can look). With the fringe this long and even layered, you take the chance of getting your watch lost in it. Or you run the risk of looking like you've recently swaddled your newborn baby, who has just been thrown into a paper shredder. It is OVERKILL. The bottom line is, bigger (or longer, in this case) is not necessarily better, it just depends on how you use it. Just like everything else.