I've spent the better part of the last three hours with a baby in my arms, rocking her to sleep. I needed it today just as much as she did. She, fighting an eye infection, forced to feed from a bottle when all she's known was the warmth of her mother's busom, missing her mommy...maybe...hopefully. Me, leaving my little one in the care of her Grandma, while I dive in the waters and start my new consulting business that will hopefully enable me to be a work-from-home mom when my maternity leave is up. I hate the thought of leaving her home when she's so young. I mean, just yesterday we had our first conversation, her and I taking turns speaking, neither one understanding the other, but connecting somewhere in the middle in a way that only mother's and baby's voices can. What other small miracles did I miss today? My heart breaks just a little.My life is measured now in these brief moments... the months between her doctor's appointments when I can see how much she's gained and grown... the weeks that pass by, where the frenzy and unpredictability is replaced by calmness and routine... the days and nights of sleeplessness gracefully giving way to sleep and play ...the hours of laying beside her, feeding her, changing her, dancing singing reading to her, wondering what else I can do to keep this little creature happy and help her thrive... and the minutes where I hold her in my arms, waiting for her eyes to softly close and sleep to take hold, wanting those minutes to come quickly but wishing I could hold her like that forever.
Sleep baby, sleep.